there are times when i put extra effort or energy into something that i’m proud of… lets take my cars for example. i’ll customize it to my liking, making it unique and awesome in my own eyes. i put my pride in my car and feel great when i drive it around and when people talk about it. however there is a fine line that comes with it, and it teeters from being the epitome of my pride to something completely… silly. so silly, stupid, useless, and retarded that no one in God’s green earth would find any reason to do what i do to my cars. to me it is almost like Disco in the 70’s and the 80’s… fully embraced until nearly overnight people were destroying heaps of disco records like a lynch mob. for me it almost glides towards self hatred, hatred for letting me rely on stupid inanimate objects to make me feel more of a person. i leaned too much on what my hands could build out of what came out of my mind. when i take a step back, it all starts to look stupid… and i start to wonder my self worth. if we took away all the cars… it leaves me: Daniel, a shy tall asian guy who can’t say no and gets taken advantage of by everyone and is often ignored by people he believes are his friends. that may be the core of it since it seems nice guys don’t finish at all most of the time
November 14, 2011, 10:44pm
